Chapter 23 — Portsmouth, the executed admiral

On the Dutch ship, Candide cries out: "Ah Pangloss! Pangloss! Ah Martin! Martin! Ah my dear Cunégonde, what kind of world is this?" Martin replies: "something very foolish and abominable." Candide asks if the English are as foolish as the French. A different kind of folly, Martin says: they are at war with France over a few acres of snow in Canada and are spending more on the war than the whole of Canada is worth.

They arrive at Portsmouth. The coast is lined with people, all of them watching a handsome man kneeling blindfolded on the deck of one of the warships in the harbor. Four soldiers stand facing him; each fires three balls into his head, with the calmest air in the world; the entire crowd then disperses thoroughly satisfied. Who was the handsome man? An Admiral. Why kill him? Because he did not kill enough men himself. He gave battle to a French Admiral and it was proved that he was not close enough to him. But the French Admiral was just as far from the English Admiral. No doubt of it — "but in this country it is considered good, from time to time, to kill an Admiral in order to encourage the others."

Voltaire is reporting the actual execution of Admiral Byng on March 14, 1757, on the deck of the Monarch at Portsmouth — exactly two years before the novel's publication. Byng had been court-martialed for failing to engage the French at the Battle of Minorca closely enough; he was found guilty of "failure to do his utmost" and shot. Voltaire, who had written publicly in Byng's defense, makes the line the chapter's joke. Candide refuses to set foot on shore. He bargains with the Dutch skipper to take him directly to Venice. They skirt the coast of France, pass within sight of Lisbon (and Candide trembles), and at last land at Venice. Candide embraces Martin: God be praised, here I shall see Cunégonde. "All is well, all will be well, all goes as well as possible."