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Candide

by Voltaire

Voltaire's attack on Leibnizian optimism. A young man is tutored in the belief that this is "the best of all possible worlds" — then the world systematically dismantles that belief through earthquake, war, plague, Inquisition, and the slave trade. Ends with the most famous closing line in the Enlightenment: "we must cultivate our garden."

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Chapters
  1. Chapter 1Chapter 1 — How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle, and How He Was Expelled Thence
  2. Chapter 2Chapter 2 — What Became of Candide Among the Bulgarians
  3. Chapter 3Chapter 3 — How Candide Made His Escape from the Bulgarians, and What Afterwards Became of Him
  4. Chapter 4Chapter 4 — How Candide Found His Old Master Pangloss, and What Happened to Them
  5. Chapter 5Chapter 5 — Tempest, Shipwreck, Earthquake, and What Became of Doctor Pangloss, Candide, and James the Anabaptist
  6. Chapter 6Chapter 6 — How the Portuguese Made a Beautiful Auto-da-fe, to Prevent Any Further Earthquakes; and How Candide Was Publicly Whipped
  7. Chapter 7Chapter 7 — How the Old Woman Took Care of Candide, and How He Found the Object He Loved
  8. Chapter 8Chapter 8 — The History of Cunegonde
  9. Chapter 9Chapter 9 — What Became of Cunegonde, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor, and the Jew
  10. Chapter 10Chapter 10 — In What Distress Candide, Cunegonde, and the Old Woman Arrived at Cadiz; and of Their Embarkation
  11. Chapter 11Chapter 11 — History of the Old Woman
  12. Chapter 12Chapter 12 — The Adventures of the Old Woman Continued
  13. Chapter 13Chapter 13 — How Candide Was Forced Away from His Fair Cunegonde and the Old Woman
  14. Chapter 14Chapter 14 — How Candide and Cacambo Were Received by the Jesuits of Paraguay
  15. Chapter 15Chapter 15 — How Candide Killed the Brother of His Dear Cunegonde
  16. Chapter 16Chapter 16 — Adventures of the Two Travellers, with Two Girls, Two Monkeys, and the Savages Called Oreillons
  17. Chapter 17Chapter 17 — Arrival of Candide and His Valet at El Dorado, and What They Saw There
  18. Chapter 18Chapter 18 — What They Saw in the Country of El Dorado
  19. Chapter 19Chapter 19 — What Happened to Them at Surinam and How Candide Got Acquainted with Martin
  20. Chapter 20Chapter 20 — What Happened at Sea to Candide and Martin
  21. Chapter 21Chapter 21 — Candide and Martin, Reasoning, Draw Near the Coast of France
  22. Chapter 22Chapter 22 — What Happened in France to Candide and Martin
  23. Chapter 23Chapter 23 — Candide and Martin Touched Upon the Coast of England, and What They Saw There
  24. Chapter 24Chapter 24 — Of Paquette and Friar Giroflee
  25. Chapter 25Chapter 25 — The Visit to Lord Pococurante, a Noble Venetian
  26. Chapter 26Chapter 26 — Of a Supper Which Candide and Martin Took with Six Strangers, and Who They Were
  27. Chapter 27Chapter 27 — Candide's Voyage to Constantinople
  28. Chapter 28Chapter 28 — What Happened to Candide, Cunegonde, Pangloss, Martin, Etc
  29. Chapter 29Chapter 29 — How Candide Found Cunegonde and the Old Woman Again
  30. Chapter 30Chapter 30 — The Conclusion

Chapter 1 — How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle, and How He Was Expelled Thence

In a castle of Westphalia, belonging to the Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, lived a youth, whom nature had endowed with the most gentle manners. His countenance was a true picture of his soul. He combined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was the reason, I apprehend, of his being called Candide. The old servants of the family suspected him to have been the son of the Baron's sister, by a good, honest gentleman of the neighborhood, whom that young lady would never marry because he had been able to prove only seventy-one quarterings, the rest of his genealogical tree having been lost through the injuries of time.

The Baron was one of the most powerful lords in Westphalia, for his castle had not only a gate, but windows. His great hall, even, was hung with tapestry. All the dogs of his farm-yards formed a pack of hounds at need; his grooms were his huntsmen; and the curate of the village was his grand almoner. They called him "My Lord," and laughed at all his stories.

The Baron's lady weighed about three hundred and fifty pounds, and was therefore a person of great consideration, and she did the honours of the house with a dignity that commanded still greater respect. Her daughter Cunegonde was seventeen years of age, fresh-coloured, comely, plump, and desirable. The Baron's son seemed to be in every respect worthy of his father. The Preceptor Pangloss[1] was the oracle of the family, and little Candide heard his lessons with all the good faith of his age and character.

Pangloss was professor of metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology. He proved admirably that there is no effect without a cause, and that, in this best of all possible worlds, the Baron's castle was the most magnificent of castles, and his lady the best of all possible Baronesses.

"It is demonstrable," said he, "that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end. Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles--thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for stockings--and we have stockings. Stones were made to be hewn, and to construct castles--therefore my lord has a magnificent castle; for the greatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Pigs were made to be eaten--therefore we eat pork all the year round. Consequently they who assert that all is well have said a foolish thing, they should have said all is for the best."

Candide listened attentively and believed innocently; for he thought Miss Cunegonde extremely beautiful, though he never had the courage to tell her so. He concluded that after the happiness of being born of Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, the second degree of happiness was to be Miss Cunegonde, the third that of seeing her every day, and the fourth that of hearing Master Pangloss, the greatest philosopher of the whole province, and consequently of the whole world.

One day Cunegonde, while walking near the castle, in a little wood which they called a park, saw between the bushes, Dr. Pangloss giving a lesson in experimental natural philosophy to her mother's chamber-maid, a little brown wench, very pretty and very docile. As Miss Cunegonde had a great disposition for the sciences, she breathlessly observed the repeated experiments of which she was a witness; she clearly perceived the force of the Doctor's reasons, the effects, and the causes; she turned back greatly flurried, quite pensive, and filled with the desire to be learned; dreaming that she might well be a _sufficient reason_ for young Candide, and he for her.

She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushed also; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoke to her without knowing what he said. The next day after dinner, as they went from table, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind...